I’m Not Waiting for His Answer Anymore
Last night, after months of wanting to resolve everything, we spoke again. I thought this call would be that moment—the closure. But instead, I was left numbed by how things landed. He said, “You don’t need to regret anything. What’s done is done.” I was left wondering: Does that mean it was just me? In that moment, my tears—my grief—felt invisible. His reassurance echoed like blame. It wasn’t what I needed.
I chased, begged, cried for months—hoping that if I spoke up, he’d see us. I hoped for shared accountability, admission of mistakes on both sides, a real sense of “I’m sorry.” Instead, I got a phrase meant to soothe that felt like erasure. Instead of peace, I felt dismissed.
The words I wish I’d heard: “I was wrong, I hurt you, I’m sorry.” But I realize now—I don’t need those words. I don’t need his narrative. All I need is mine. I’m standing on this turning point: grieving what I thought we were, mourning what I wanted us to be, and choosing now my life from here. Not based on him—or the absence of apology—but based on what I value, what I learn, and who I want to be.
His words didn’t heal me—not because I’m holding onto something broken—but because the only thing that could ever heal me was my own voice telling the truth, shaping my own ending. Not him. So I say this to myself—and to you if this speaks to your soul: Trust that you’re not waiting for someone’s permission to heal. You don’t need an apology to rebuild. And someday, you’ll wake up and just be okay—because you created the peace that wasn’t handed to you.
— She ♡
